Ah well, as I’ve always said, running’s meant to be fun and on a day like it was today, why knacker yourself early when you know what’s ahead.

But, to begin….. Tim and Muriel picked me up at 11 for a leisurely drive down to Palnackie, the nearest town village hamlet to the Screel hill. Unfortunately, I’d discovered that morning that this year, the race was included in the Scottish Hill Runners’ championship. That didn’t bode well because it meant that the field would be big and parking would be difficult; however, Tim did us proud and impressed me with his parking (not sure about the 3 rabbits, the family of moles and the pretty little roe deer (well, it had been pretty)).

In the past, this race would attract about 30 runners. Today, I would estimate 3 times that. For many races, this doesn’t pose a problem but in this one, the congestion would give even Boris nightmares.

The turnout from Ayrshire was a tad disappointing. Tommy from Irvine, Rod from Killie, Ian from Girvan….. and of course, two Tortoises.

The start was very slow due to the already mentioned congestion but within the first 200 yards we had started to settle. It was a very warm day with no wind so it’d be tough. Tim was in front of me from the go but I was content as long as the gap didn’t open too much. Tommy, Rod and Ian were also in front and whilst I knew that Tommy was out of my league, I hoped to beat the others.

I caught Ian fairly quickly then traded places with Rod a few times on the climb. As we approached the top, Rod had passed Tim who was about 30 yards ahead of me. Har, har, har, this was what I’d been waiting for!! The downhill from the top starts with a very steep drop that has little grip – who needs grip! I soared past Tim and quickly caught up with Rod so all of their previous gains had been cancelled out.

The next stage of the race was through forest on ground that boasted nothing but loads of tree roots, rocks and low branches that all had the remit to trip, catch or impale as many runners as possible. Rod couldn’t hold me back here and I left him standing.

Once through the trees we reached what I’d told Tim about but I’m not sure he completely believed me… a climb that cannot be run, walked or even crawled – yes, it IS a climb. For regular hill climbers it would be classed as a grade 2 scramble. Not terribly difficult but certainly a challenge when you’re 2/3 of the way through a hill race and are already knackered. Rod passed me here harrumph! Oh well, I’ll catch him later.

And catch him I did, for the last time cos he couldn’t keep up with me after that. Muriel managed to catch me just before I passed Rod, and honest, me and the lady hardly know each other!

The rest of the race was fairly unspectacular. Passed one guy that had taken a tumble but medics were around him and an ambulance had been called – wonder why certain medical chaps didn’t lend a hand (tee hee). All in a day’s hill racing.

Like Criffel, the views at the top of Screel are incredible. As some will know, I don’t spend ALL of my time running up hills… sometimes I simply climb them. So, I’ve experience of many Munros and the great views they provide; however, I have to say that there are many hills, like Screel and Criffel that the great Sir Hugh would scoff at that are every bit as good as those that bear his name.

Rant over… Following the race, Tim, Muriel and I went to the pub in Palnackie. Unfortunately, I don’t think that they get a lot of passing trade and, what with Muriel’s English accent, my Scots tongue and Tim’s indeterminate intonation, the barman took the safe way out and told us that they’d finished serving food a few minutes previously (I think if we’d suggested drink he’d have said, “THE BEER’S AFF.” So, it was off to Mrs Miggins for a pot of tea. The elderly ladies were lovely and their little tea room looked to me as if it had started life as their front pantry. They even sold Empire biscuits! Marvellous.

When we left Mrs Miggins we met one of the locals. Tim assured us that it was actually a friendly shaggy dog…. But neither Muriel nor I were convinced. I’ve read a number of books about the borders so I know!

Another lovely drive home rounded of the day nicely so all of you who failed to show… YOU MISSED OUT!